My Greatest Gift

Maybe it's the hormones or maybe it's the voice of God but I need to take some time to reflect on the blessing we have been given.

At Thanksgiving (what a time) we found out I was pregnant. It was against all odds that I got pregnant. Considering I have had little to no signs of being able to ovulate throughout my life and I have been told for the last 15 years that my body can’t produce a pregnancy, how do I randomly mature an egg and release it. Then, not only did I randomly produce said egg, I managed to time it perfectly with my work schedule where travel had me hardly ever in the same state as my husband and with a fluke mix-up between my cardiologist and my ObGyn. That is a miracle.

Not only am I pregnant it seems everything (other than a random skin rash) seems to be getting better. My diabetes has actually improved during pregnancy - apparently that makes me the one person on the planet with that anomaly. My arrhythmias seem to have simply vanished - again not the norm. And most importantly I have a perfectly healthy life growing rapidly inside of me.

How David and I created this little life I have only one answer - God's miracle to us. Until just the other day when Lydia (thank you) spoke the words herself, I haven't let myself think of this as my miracle baby. I have been so convinced something would go wrong. I know that I am not worthy of such a gift, so I knew something had to be wrong. I waited through all the tests, ultrasounds, and the echo to hear the news I knew was coming. I was convinced not feeling the kicks signaled the truth. I forced myself to start planning for the baby in case it did come home, but only in moments of weakness did I let myself get excited. Thankfully our wonderful parents were there to help me be excited and to go shopping with me. But I never really settled on the idea that a baby was actually coming. I have said to David several times "I guess we really are having a baby." But in truth a very large part of me never believed it.

I have never wanted to know the baby's sex - as I believe this is the way it’s supposed to be - but I have been so adamant because in a way that would make it much more real. The pain of knowing so much about my child when I inevitably lost it would be too much to bear. I would have made plans and dreams for the baby and every time I saw a girl or boy I would have to relive the pain of losing my child. I simply couldn't bear it. Maybe this explanation will help our families and friends understand our decision.

But through it all I have prayed. I have prayed that this little miracle is alive and well and healthy and now we know that God has spoken and Lola is well. Lola is something I never was, Lola is whole. God has placed this little person inside of me and made her/him healthy.

The last remaining thing that haunts my parents and us are the words my pediatric cardiologist said when they found my birth defect – she won't survive childbirth. But I know this isn't true. I know God has a plan and even if that plan isn’t our desire, I will live on in this little person. Also that statement was uttered 29 years ago and the advances in medicine are amazing – like the fact that I have a tiny piece of engineering lodged in my heart keeping me alive. If something were to go wrong the baby can be out in under a minute. Also my current cardiologist, who has been nothing but incredibly honest with me, assures me that my heart is completely competent to carry the baby to term and for full delivery. This is a very comforting thought for us. We have also chosen to deliver the baby at the same hospital where my heart surgery was performed since the doctors who know my case are all there and they will be prepared should something happen.

I am sorry if this post has seemed completely over-the-top drama but please try to understand. The full realm of the feelings may only be something that can be understood by someone who has mourned this child for over 15 years, but for me these have been very really very scary feelings.

The main message here is that my precious miracle is alive and kicking and loves to hear it's Daddy's voice. It’s a huge fan of eating and really really hates fetal monitors.

I have posted the 3D ultrasound picture on my computer screen, last night I felt overcome by the sight of it and I placed one hand on the picture and one hand on my stomach and prayed. Lola kicked twice right where my hand was placed which was an incredible moment for me. I am so incredibly blessed and in love with this child. This child has changed our world and the worlds of it's grandparents. Thank you God for this precious gift.

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The Dust Bowl

Our house is covered in dust!!!  It's so easy to tell where Charlie goes though :-)  George is on vacation at doggie day care this week so he isn't experiencing this fun but yesterday was Day Two of the drywall.  And it's all up and the first coat of mud is on!  Today they are taking a break to let the mud fully dry.  Below are the pictures from Day Two.

Main Room

Main Room Looking into Bonus Room

Main Room From Bonus Room

Bedroom

Bonus Room

Bathroom #1

Bathroom #2

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The Other Big Monday News

The other big deal for Monday was our fetal Echo.  While I haven't talked too much about it I have been in panic mode since I found out I am pregnant, because my heart defect raises the chances of my children having a heart birth defect.  Due to this increased risk we have had a lot of tests done that other pregnancies wouldn't have, one of which is the fetal echo.  They use a high-powered ultrasound machine and take detailed pictures of the heart, valves, major arteries, etc.   But we passed!  I am so happy that our little miracle baby won't have to go through what we went through.  As far as anyone can tell at this point we have a perfectly healthy little person.  This may be weird but I have loved this baby for a long long time but until that moment in that very moment in that office, I don't think I understood the depth of my feelings.  Maybe that makes me a bad person, I don't know, but that's the honest truth.  It became so real and so permanent.  I now know that this really is God's plan and this is His desire.  This little person is His perfect miracle and perfect gift.  And I am truly blessed.  Needless to say the relief in the room was palpable but I held it together until the doctor walked out at which point I completely broke down.  It's been 20 weeks of shear torture not knowing one way or the other and I lost it.  I am so glad David was there.  We also got a chance to see our baby's precious face.  It was an incredibly special moment.  Below are the pictures from the test and a picture of my baby bump .. well my baby mountain. 

Not looking my best!  It's late at night!

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Drywall Day One

Monday was Day One of the drywall project.  The guys got there bright and early and started carrying in the drywall.  I have to say I was uber-impressed.  They did mess up one wall but David and I would have gouged and broke that wall, so to just mess up the paint - God love 'em!  Below are some pictures of Day One. 

From Stairs Looking at Main Room

Soffit in Bonus Room

Bedroom

Main Room Looking Towards Stairs

Wet Bar Area in Main Room

Stairs

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Ready for Drywall

It has been a long time coming, but we are finally ready to have the drywall installed!!! YAY!!!!  I am so very excited about this turn of events as it means soon we will be done with this massive project - just in time for Project Lola.  (I have a feeling that project might just last even longer!)  Here are some final pictures of the basement before the drywall goes up.  When the inspector came to inspect the insulation, he said that it was a perfect job and that we should videotape it to teach others.  Way to go honey - I love you and thank you for all your hard work!

Looking at the base of the stairs

Main Room

Looking from Main Room into Bonus Room

Georgie - "Hi guys!"

David working in the Bathroom

Looking from Bonus Room into Bedroom

Looking at two of my favorite guys in the Bedroom

Charlie attacks!

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Disney 2010!!

We had a great long weekend to Orlando.  It was a big family vacation and we had an awesome time. 


Friday we arrived and hung out around the hotel and made a small outting to Downtown Disney. 

Daddy and I in the fountain at Downtown Disney

 

Daddy dressed up as his hero  

Saturday we went to Sea World. We had a great time checking out the animals. Heather, Jason, and David rode on the Mantra which they say is awesome. I'm a bit skeptical - that looked quite treacherous to me! But it all started with an amazing breakfast with Elmo. Abby has a bit of a teen idol obsession with Elmo and she was thrilled to see him. She was a little scared of Grover at first, but in true Abby fashion didn't want him to starve so she gave him some food while screaming "No Way!!!!" It was awesome. Around lunchtime Brian and Katee met up with us. We LOVE KATEE!!! She is great and is super nice. She offered to hang out with me while Brian and David tried to ride the mantra. That night at dinner we asked Brian to be the baby's Godfather. It was a huge deal for us and for him. He was very honored. Brian is obviously now responsible for all backdoor dealings and "removals" that was need taken care of! Here are some pictures of SeaWorld.

                                                     The Whole Group!

David and His Favorite!

Abby Gets a Hug from Her Elmo!!!

Abby and Papa Watching the Whales

Sunday was the Magic Kingdom. We started the day with a dancing in the streets parade which I found incredibly fun. However, I bowed out of the play at the castle because hot sun, no chairs, and pregnancy don't mix. After the parade we went to lunch and then got separated for awhile. However, we soon met back up for a chance to watch the Bears Jamboree! Then we watched a parade that I did not find so fun as it was miserably hot so I had to go sit somewhere I couldn't see anything. I am told the girls had a good time but I could have done without it! We did have a little scare on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride - note to self ladies: they have added a drop in the last year - I was totally unprepared for the drop. None of us expected it and the terror in David's and Daddy's faces were palpable. Thankfully it definitely woke the baby up and it went to town kicking! Hopefully for Mommy's hair color that meant it didn't like ride but then it will be half its Daddy child, so it might be a big fan. Ut oh!!!  

The girls needed to go back to the hotel but David and I stuck around at the park. We had a blast riding all the kid rides. There is actually a surprising number of things to do while pregnant at the Magic Kingdom. I was impressed. Later that night Heather and Jason caught back up with us and the three kids rode the big rides. Ohh one last thing before pictures. David downloaded an iPhone app for my phone and it's pretty cool if you go to Disney. It shows the approximate wait times for all the rides. We found it be pretty accurate. It relies on people waiting for the ride to update it so I guess it's reliability could depend but my dorky husband was all about updating it!

Me, LouAnn, and Izzy on her first bus ride!

Me Dancing in the Streets!

The Lomax's and Daddy in the Background.  I have no idea what this ride was called.

What a cutie!

David, Heather, and Jason about to take off on a roller coaster.

Monday we had breakfast at Chef Mickey's. The breakfast pizza was super awesome. The best part of Chef Mickey's though was finding a way to get Izzy to like me. When the options were hang out with me or Donald Duck I was her BFF! After that I was fine. Abby hung out with her buddy, Uncle David, quite a bit over the whole trip. They have the cutest little relationship. I can't wait to see him with his own kids! Here are the pics:

                                

Izzy and Daddy

                                  

Izzy and Abby with Pluto (Doggie)

Separated at Birth

Abby Giving Donald Duck High 5

The Whales Waving Goodbye! (Me too!)

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Easter - A Day to Reflect on All Our Blessings!

Easter weekend was a great weekend around the Lomax house. David had Good Friday off so he spent a lot of time in the basement fixing stuff up. He had to change the height of the base stair and do some work to make it very structurally sound. (Some of us are a little hefty these days!) We had wonderful weather on Good Friday, so once I got home we spent a lot of time hanging outside playing with George. Daddy and LouAnn sent us an Easter gift with a super cute rattle for the baby and a waddling chicken that plays "The Chicken Dance." George was very taken back by the chicken and wasn't quite sure what to do with it! There aren't any pictures of Charlie with the chicken because he just ignored it!

Checking Out the New Guy

Watching Daddy and Sniffing                          Ut Oh!  This Thing Moves!!!!

George spent some time checking out the new flowers.  It was great day with nature and with my guys. 

These Flowers Smell Great!                            Coming Mommy!!!

Saturday was about errands and spending time together. It was just a great time together and focusing on the blessings in our lives. We have so much to be thankful and there is no time like Easter to focus on all of those blessings and start anew with more love and more strength than we had in the past year.

Sunday I had a BUSY day at church, helping with communion for three services and being the worship assistant for two. I was pooped by the time it was over!  David put together our new grill (ours was literally falling apart) and I went shopping.  The perfect afternoon!  I bought another outfit for the baby and I bought Jonah an Easter bib that says "Chicks Dig Me."  So sweet.  We are super excited to be getting a little nephew very soon!!!  I had a little meltdown because Easter is supposed to be about being with family but we are so far from ours that it is hard sometimes to deal with it when you see lots of others with theirs.  But I know that I am fortunate to be able to call them and to have my little family here.  And for that that blessing, among all the others, I am thankful.

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Baby Lomax is on the move!!!

I think I felt the baby kick last night! Honestly, I have no idea since I don't know what it's supposed to feel like. But it was 5 times and it's a sensation I have never felt before and was in the right place. I am so excited. And with all my paranoia, it is awesome to finally feel some confirmation that we are doing okay! I will write more later as I have need to update everyone on Easter. Have a happy Thursday!

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